Why I don't want an agent

When I got serious about writing it was always with the intent to publish someday. After my second book, I realized this meant finding an agent. At the time I was a little put out. Why couldn't I just go to the publishers directly? Why did I have to get a middle man (who's gonna take a nice 10%-15% of my earnings) in order to get noticed?

What answer did I get?

BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S DONE SILLY WRITER!

Yeah, not helpful. Whateves. So I did my thing. Wrote some queries. Sent them out. Got some interest that never amounted to much (this was back around 2005-2006) and moved on with my life. 

At that time agents were treated like high priests. They ran blogs that made fun of queries they received, gave advice to writers on how to contact them and make a good impression and writers ate it all up with a fucking spoon. 

Oh, agents! You are so wise and so kind to talk to us lowly writers!

Um, what? If it weren't for writers there wouldn't BE agents, right? They are supposed to work for us, not the other way around. But back in the day that's the way it was. And I accepted it wholeheartedly. 

Now -- not so much. And I couldn't be more grateful that I never got an agent. 

Thank you, Supes. I knew you were looking out for me!

Now I'm not anti-agent in general, but I don't see the point of one for my career.

So here is why I don't want an agent:

1. Agents are falling out of favor in the new world of publishing. No matter how loud they shout about how necessary they are, it's not true. While many trade publishers didn't used to accept unagented manuscripts all that's changing. Now the Big 5 open their doors from time to time to the masses -- they even offer deals to self-publishers which was unheard of back in the mid 2000s. If you want a trade deal you don't need an agent for it anymore.

2. I don't need someone to pat my head while they do the business part of my job for me. I'm a big girl and can figure out the business part of writing on my own. Hell, I ran my own successful business while I was an undergrad -- I can do it again. I also don't need my ego stroked by the mere fact that I have an agent (name dropping my agent all other the Interwebs) or someone to hold my hand. I'm good.

3. I'd like to keep my money AND my rights. With trade advances shrinking ($10,000 is the new $50,000!), I'd like to keep more of my money if I ever went trade. 10%-15% is a lot of money and it's not just a one time deal. When you sign with an agent, they get that percentage of any work they sell for the life of the copyright in your name. That's your life plus 70 years! Do you really want to give that away? 

Also, some agents have clauses that include work they don't help you sell. They want a percentage of stuff you found deals for on your own (small press or self-pub), even though they never touched it. No thanks!

4. Agents can't buy my work. They aren't publishers -- they're a just a way to get my work to a publisher. I don't need a middle man.

5. Agents aren't editors! When I was shopping for one I heard so many stories of people asked to rewrite a book for an agent (who then accepted them as a client or rejected them -- ugh). Why? They might have an idea what might sell, but they can't buy it. I also don't need an agent to tell me what works and doesn't -- that's what beta readers are for. 

6. Agents aren't IP attorneys in many cases. While they're supposed to understand publishing contracts that doesn't mean they do. If they did how come so many writers get crummy contracts from the Big 5? Why didn't their agents stop that? Because agents are more inclined to take a bad contract for the author if they get paid -- maybe. The pubs are lining your agent's pockets with money made from your work. If the rights stay with the pub forever, do you think your agent cares?

7. Agents have no organization to license them or monitor their actions. Think about that. I could, hypothetically, decide to be an agent today. I don't need to take a test or do anything besides make that decision. Agents don't even need a degree! They just need some contact with publishers.

8. Agents can steal from you and you may never know. It's happened before. I don't want to take that chance.

If you think an agent is what you need then shop around for someone who has a degree in contract law,  a good working relationship with their clients and can sell your work. If the agent hasn't sold a damn thing like your book, why would you sign with them? And if they can't sell any of your books in a year, why keep them around? 

How fan fiction helped me become a (better) writer

I've been into fan fiction for well over ten years -- take of that what you will. As a teen, I read a lot of Star Wars fics (oh Luke and Han, just get it over with and kiss already!) Then I moved on to anime (GW and FMA, in particular). Something about the Gundam Wing Internet fandom in the early 2000's caught my fancy.

Was I obsessed? A little. I don't care. I was also in love.

Now, I wrote before I tried my hand at fan fic. I wrote really terrible wannabe literature that sucked donkey balls. I was young, and it was bad. Really, really bad. We shall never speak of it again.

But Gundam Wing opened up my imagination and made me want to tell a story about these wonderful, complex characters. So I did. I wrote a romance (2/4, if you must know. I'm not going to explain the number jargon), and people liked my story. I got several reviews. Cool. I could do that.

So I wrote some more -- built up a fan base and won some awards.

200,000 words later I had two full length novel fan fics. Several novellas and several more shorts. That's a lot of words.

The thing about fan fiction that's different from most other kinds of writing is the instant feedback from your fans. If they liked something, they reviewed it or emailed me for more. I learned how to build a story, write myself into (and out of) corners and how to write believable dialogue -- all by using someone else's characters and world. But most of all it gave me the confidence I needed to pursue my own non-fan fic writing.

If I could write a 60,000 word novel about GW characters, why not my own characters? I realized I could.

Not only that, but fan fic introduced me to genre writing, romance and gay fiction. Funny how things come full circle, huh?

Without the boost I got from fan fiction, I wouldn't be where I am today -- you know, an awesome full-time writer.

So, thank you G-boys for all your wonderful help.

And I suppose Ed and Roy helped a little too. (It was way too hard to find a pic of these two not kissing!)

Success and stuff

If my 24 year-old-self met my current self, I'm not sure what would happen. Besides the whole time paradox thing, I don't think we'd agree about writing decisions and what it means to be a successful writer.

Back then, I thought you had to do things in this order:

1. Get an agent
2. Get a book deal with a big 6 publisher
3. Success!

Self-publishing was a wasteland for talentless hacks -- reserved for weirdoes who had "book signings" at Barnes and Noble for their memoir about growing up in the suburbs of middle America. Thrilling!

I was a jerk back then.

But times are changing. Now self-pubbing isn't just easier than ever; it's actually possible to be successful when you do it. But many writers don't like to admit that. They want to sit on their high horses and claim their way is the only way. That's not only narrow sighted, but it also glosses over many problems with big publishing as it stands (more on that later).

Self-pubbing is one path to success. It's one way a writer can make a wonderful living for herself or himself. It's not the only way. It takes a lot of hard work, but it's comparable to the other paths. And the payoff can be just as big -- or bigger -- than going the traditional route.

However, people still say: "Well, he might have a book on the NY Times bestseller list, but he's just self-published."

I've done it. Maybe you have too. Take a minute and think about why you want to put down other writers for their choices. Does it affect you? Probably not. Are you jealous of their success? Disapproving? What makes you better than that self-pubbed writer?

Not every writer is going to make the decisions you would make, but that doesn't make them any less of a writer. I put a lot of work in my books/series. They are revised/edited by me (several times) and several beta readers in my online writing group.

I have writer friends who've made different choices than I have. One got a MFA. I have no desire to pursue one, but that was right for her and she deserves the success that comes with it. Another writer friend has an agent and just released a book of short stories through a small press. Did she work hard for that? Yes. Is she successful? Yes.

Every writer has a definition of success for themselves that might be different from my definition or yours. I want to build a big fan base and make tons of money. Self-pubbing gives me a better chance of doing that than traditional publishing, and I don't see it changing anytime soon.

This is my path to success. What's yours?

Gay Wolves Changed My Life

I like writing about gay characters. I'm not sure if it's my long and torrid love affair with slash fan fiction (more on that later) or what, but several characters in my mainstream books have been gay.

So when I stared this indie writing thing, I discovered a gold mine: gay romance/ gay erotic romance. It was like a fangirl's dream come true. Original fiction written about hot guys falling in love and getting it on with each other. What could be better?

I know. Writing my own! Score!

So I did. I got nice reviews and some fan mail, but not a huge influx of sales. Well, I didn't have a huge number of titles, and in this business volume matters. I just wrote more.

But since I usually stare at a computer screen all day I need some kind of human interaction. Forums are a place where we writers gather to hang out and exchange info. It was on a forum that I learned a wonderful truth: gay wolves (gay werewolves) are publishing magic.

I'm not sure what it is about rough alpha males fighting for pack dominance that makes ladies (and men) love them, but it's true. At least for me.

The first gay wolf story I wrote hit the Amazon hot new releases chart back in late May early June and stayed there for a whole month. It also peeked at #4 on the All Romance site wide bestseller list and hit several iTunes bestseller lists.

It made me a lot of money and opened a door for several sequels.

It gave me a loyal following of rabid gay wolf loving fans. That's the best part because if a fan likes one gay wolf story, they will buy more gay wolf stories. And I have a lot of gay wolf stories to offer my hungry base.

Gay wolves also gave me the confidence to quit grad school and do this weird erotic romance thing full time.

There is a lesson to be learned here: if something works, writing wise, then do more of it. If something doesn't work, try it one more time. If you fail again, try something new until you find that magic formula.

I can't really say why my gay wolf story took off -- it was a perfect storm of timing, blurb, cover and story all mixed into one. Luck played a big part too. Do I hold a special gay wolf secret? No. But I do like writing about werewolves, and pack politics and gay men falling in love with each other under those conditions.


Even when I take a break from gay wolves to work on a BBW romance or a gay contemporary romance, I still thank those howling beasts for their help.

I wouldn't be here without them.

Coming out of the writing closet, so to speak

I write for a living -- I'm a professional writer, if you will. It's weird to say those words, much less type them. Wrapping my head around my job, although I've been doing it for about 4 years now, is still difficult.

Even harder since the last 8 months have been very different.

I freelanced for about 3 years. Basically, I wrote boring articles about computers or gardening and it paid the bills. And I got to work from home in my PJs. Life was good. Then the Google panda update hit and my cushy freelancing gigs dried up. So, as we started 2012, I was out of a job. Really. Totally unemployed. 

Now, I wasn't homeless. No. I had a savings account and grad student loans. I could find something new. I had too.

Then I stumbled on a ghostwriting gig. The pay was decent, and it came with a lot of creative freedom. While I dabbled in non-fiction and article writing to get by, fiction is my real passion. I jumped at the opportunity, but I had to learn how to write something I'd only ever penned in fanfiction before.

Okay. Deep breath. I can do this.

I write erotica and erotic romance. 

There. I said it. Secret out!

The ghostwriting gig paid more for erotic stories, so I wrote a few. Then I started reading forum posts and blogs about self-publishing. A lot of writers were making a lot of money doing what I was doing, only they got paid in royalties instead of an up-front ghostwriting fee.

Why wasn't I doing that?

Long story short (too late) I did/am. And it's the best decision I ever made in my entire life. 

So, that's why I started this blog. I'm not going to tell anyone my pen names (or my real name, although it's not really a secret considering I'm posting this on FB. Hi, friends from FB who chose to read!) But I do want to talk about my journey and decisions -- why I made them and how much I enjoy what I do. 

I'm the Indie Writer Girl, and I have a few things to say.