Why I don't want an agent

When I got serious about writing it was always with the intent to publish someday. After my second book, I realized this meant finding an agent. At the time I was a little put out. Why couldn't I just go to the publishers directly? Why did I have to get a middle man (who's gonna take a nice 10%-15% of my earnings) in order to get noticed?

What answer did I get?

BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S DONE SILLY WRITER!

Yeah, not helpful. Whateves. So I did my thing. Wrote some queries. Sent them out. Got some interest that never amounted to much (this was back around 2005-2006) and moved on with my life. 

At that time agents were treated like high priests. They ran blogs that made fun of queries they received, gave advice to writers on how to contact them and make a good impression and writers ate it all up with a fucking spoon. 

Oh, agents! You are so wise and so kind to talk to us lowly writers!

Um, what? If it weren't for writers there wouldn't BE agents, right? They are supposed to work for us, not the other way around. But back in the day that's the way it was. And I accepted it wholeheartedly. 

Now -- not so much. And I couldn't be more grateful that I never got an agent. 

Thank you, Supes. I knew you were looking out for me!

Now I'm not anti-agent in general, but I don't see the point of one for my career.

So here is why I don't want an agent:

1. Agents are falling out of favor in the new world of publishing. No matter how loud they shout about how necessary they are, it's not true. While many trade publishers didn't used to accept unagented manuscripts all that's changing. Now the Big 5 open their doors from time to time to the masses -- they even offer deals to self-publishers which was unheard of back in the mid 2000s. If you want a trade deal you don't need an agent for it anymore.

2. I don't need someone to pat my head while they do the business part of my job for me. I'm a big girl and can figure out the business part of writing on my own. Hell, I ran my own successful business while I was an undergrad -- I can do it again. I also don't need my ego stroked by the mere fact that I have an agent (name dropping my agent all other the Interwebs) or someone to hold my hand. I'm good.

3. I'd like to keep my money AND my rights. With trade advances shrinking ($10,000 is the new $50,000!), I'd like to keep more of my money if I ever went trade. 10%-15% is a lot of money and it's not just a one time deal. When you sign with an agent, they get that percentage of any work they sell for the life of the copyright in your name. That's your life plus 70 years! Do you really want to give that away? 

Also, some agents have clauses that include work they don't help you sell. They want a percentage of stuff you found deals for on your own (small press or self-pub), even though they never touched it. No thanks!

4. Agents can't buy my work. They aren't publishers -- they're a just a way to get my work to a publisher. I don't need a middle man.

5. Agents aren't editors! When I was shopping for one I heard so many stories of people asked to rewrite a book for an agent (who then accepted them as a client or rejected them -- ugh). Why? They might have an idea what might sell, but they can't buy it. I also don't need an agent to tell me what works and doesn't -- that's what beta readers are for. 

6. Agents aren't IP attorneys in many cases. While they're supposed to understand publishing contracts that doesn't mean they do. If they did how come so many writers get crummy contracts from the Big 5? Why didn't their agents stop that? Because agents are more inclined to take a bad contract for the author if they get paid -- maybe. The pubs are lining your agent's pockets with money made from your work. If the rights stay with the pub forever, do you think your agent cares?

7. Agents have no organization to license them or monitor their actions. Think about that. I could, hypothetically, decide to be an agent today. I don't need to take a test or do anything besides make that decision. Agents don't even need a degree! They just need some contact with publishers.

8. Agents can steal from you and you may never know. It's happened before. I don't want to take that chance.

If you think an agent is what you need then shop around for someone who has a degree in contract law,  a good working relationship with their clients and can sell your work. If the agent hasn't sold a damn thing like your book, why would you sign with them? And if they can't sell any of your books in a year, why keep them around?